I always have trouble with those “would you and your favorite fictional character get along” questions honestly just because of a straight up lack of imagination on my part. Even if we lived in the same universe I can’t imagine why we’d be talking to each other. I work in marketing
You know what I hate about toxic heterosexual culture? The way others try and force it on people.
Like, heterosexuals are so used to it that they just….do that, to other couples, usually younger ones.
My partner and I are read as straight as treated as some sort of willing participants in this.
Like the other night, after dinner at family’s house I started collecting dishes to wash them, because I’m at someone’s house and that is how I was raised.
Now, boyfriend knows I’m allergic to dishsoap so he comes up and insists on doing it for me, I’m grateful and pick up a towel to dry the dishes. It was a nice moment actually, he’s seen me break out in rashes and itchy awful hive things that stick around for weeks.
But to the older heterosexual couples it became fodder for how I “owned” him, he was whipped and down trodden etc. When I said, meekly (I was a little taken aback by the “haha you volunteer to do the dishes and then make him do it” when I hadn’t even volunteered, I was just quietly collecting dishes and starting the process) said that he had insisted, the joke became about how he probably vaguely suggested and I pounced on it or that he would be in “big trouble” if he didn’t suggest it.
I didn’t bother saying I was allergic to dishsoap, I’ve been saying that since I was 10 and no one believed me, I could already had the jokes they would make about the “allergy”, so I just shut up and kept wiping dishes and putting them away.
But this isn’t new, my last relationship was also previously read as cis/het and it was always like, if I asked my partner to do anything for me it was met with “see if you can get your balls out of her purse while you’re at it”.
Like if the hets wanna have this culture, fine, do you. If you want to act like any kindness or request is emasculating servitude and that women are harpies, whatever. But don’t try and push your miserable dynamics onto everyone else.
I look forward to a cultural shift when it comes to this. The amount of times I’ve had to tell older women that I like hanging out with my husband only to see their shock is
sad
I have to deal with toxic masculinity Every. Fucking. Day. because apparently I can’t help or do anything for my wife without a million questions to see if I’m whipped. Like why would marry someone and not lift a finger for them
This. My boyfriend is very helpful and does his share of chores, and often more depending on my mobility. His care, kindness and consideration is because we love each other, his desire to do the dishes was not out of fear, but out of love because he doesn’t like seeing me with blisters on my fingers.
The kindness and respect that couples show to each other should not be subject to mockery just because it looks unfamiliar.
Reblogging for these tags
Y'all need to start deadpanning these people like:
“Wait, you don’t help your wife? Were you raised in a barn??”
“What, so I’m not allowed to offer to do dishes just because my wife was polite first?”
“Aww, sounds like someone’s a little insecure in their masculinity!”
Seriously, these kinds of people are insecure and operating from a social script that is harmful and relies on making you uncomfortable. Interrupt the autopilot and make them uncomfortable right back. Even if you’re anxious about making things awkward, just remember that you’re bound to be uncomfortable either way, and it’s their fault, so they should have to deal with the discomfort too.
